By: Matt Weik
Ok, being fit doesn’t really suck. But, there are some instances where it can cause a bit of frustration. This article is meant to be fun — showcasing some of those unexpected headaches that being fit can cause. If you’re among the seriously fit, I’m hoping you chuckle reading it….the way I did writing it.
Why being fit sucks…
Reason # 1: Pants
If you body build, the chances of you having larger than normal legs is pretty much a given. Those skinny jeans… don’t even think about it, unless you were just curious if your foot could fit in the pant leg. We get it. You want to show off your hard work in the gym, but unless you’re a chick, super tight jeans are not a good look on a guy. A fitted and tapered pant, yes. Tight, never—unless you want to see if you can squat down and tear them in half. Or, if you plan on never having kids!
But seriously, you know what I’m talking about. You finally find a pair of jeans that your legs fit into, but then you’re left with a waist that’s larger than you need and bunches up due to the extra material. So, you grab a belt begrudgingly and go on with your day. On the flip side though, don’t buy jeans that are huge just to accommodate your lower body unless your career choice is to become a rapper or drug dealer. Not a good look. At least show off a little of your hard work in the gym under the bar by getting something a little more fitted. But finding a good pair of pants off the rack can be extremely challenging.
Reason # 2: Shirt Shopping
Ah yes, the shoulder to waist ratio. Unless you plan on wearing cutoffs every day of your life, it’s frustrating sometimes trying to find shirts that “fit.” Sure, you might size up so that the fabric doesn’t try to turn your arms into sausages or that your delts are about ready to tear the fabric at the seams. So there you are in your oversized shirt, just so it fits your upper body. You look down and what do you see? What looks like a maternity top around your midsection. You didn’t diet and uncover that six pack so you could wear a flowing top that makes you look like you’re wearing a moo moo. You’re in quite the conundrum. And we’re only talking about t-shirts!
Thinking about a button down? Good luck. And you better lawyer up if you think you’re going to walk around down with a fitted button down on. One wrong move and you’re going to take out someone’s eye with a flying button. The same thing applies with your button down that did with your t-shirt. You don’t want to constrict your movement, so you end up buying a larger size to accommodate. Then what you are left with is a bunch of fabric covering up your midsection, whereas if you had EVERYTHING tailored, it could show off your v-taper. Wide shoulders and tiny waists are not apparel friendly unless you have an amazing tailor on speed-dial—which you should anyway.
Reason # 3: Collars
Those polos and button downs sure look nice. Ever find a size that actually fits around your upper body and hugs it in all the right places? Then comes the moment of truth where you want to button that top button and rock a tie and it’s a total fail. Heck, it happened to me today! I got a fitted button down to wear for a wedding that looked great under my sport coat, so I went to button the top button and it clearly wasn’t happening. In fact, it was a good three inches from the button even getting close to the hole. That’s one of the problems with dress shirts these days. The collars are structured for little guys. You know, the pencil necks. I mean, do you even lift bro? A 16-inch neck? Get outta here. If you can take a dress shirt off the rack, put it on and find a size that fits your frame yet still have it fit around your neck, something’s wrong there.
What are you left doing? Paying a premium to have a shirt either tailored and brought in to accommodate the collar/neck, or you get a custom-made shirt to specifically fit your measurements. Off the rack… what the heck is that. Nothing fits off the rack on an athletic-build frame. Those $20-$50 dress shirts you find at department stores, forget about it. You’re going to be looking at $100 or more for your dress shirts if you are fit and muscular.
Reason # 4: Airplanes
Remember the overweight guy you sat next to on the plane who gave you no room to sit in your own seat? Well, sorry, that’s us too. Because we lift, generally we have broader shoulders than guys who don’t work out. So, while the guy on the plane taking up your space might be sharing some extra love with you, with us, it’s extra muscle. I’d say it’s not our fault, but it is. We want to be this way—it’s our lifestyle. We aren’t looking to piss off everyday people, we just strive for wide shoulders to give off the overall appearance of strength. Airlines, we apologize for these gains we are about to bring onto the plane. We got them scanned by TSA and all seemed well even though they don’t often see people like us (thank you American obesity crisis). But, I guess it could be worse for us “fit” guys, we could need a seat belt extender, right?
Reason # 5: Sleep Apnea
If you have enough muscle on your frame (think bodybuilder), there’s a good chance you may be suffering from sleep apnea. Breathing is a good thing, right? Well, when you have slabs of muscle on your frame you can stop breathing at night while sleeping due to this condition. This is mainly due to obesity, but those with a lot of muscle can also fall victim. In order to treat the condition, many individuals need to use a continuous positive airway pressure (CPAP) machine at night that requires you to wear a mask, making you look like Bane from Batman. Good news is, you can sleep without worrying that you’re going to stop breathing. Bad news is, it takes people quite a long time to get used to the CPAP machine and some of them aren’t the quietest things on the planet and can not only bother you, but also bother the person lying next to you in bed.
Reason # 6: Constantly “Hangry”
No, that’s not a typo. It means you’re hungry and angry. When you are fit, generally your body is a space heater and is constantly burning calories thanks to a sped-up metabolism. What this creates is a constant feeling of hunger throughout the day. It seems like by the time you’re done eating one meal, you’re instantly hungry for the next and wondering what you should eat. What’s good about it, though, is that you tend to not store the food you eat as fat since you’re using it for energy and fuel—keeping you lean year-round. It also allows you to enjoy some food and treats that you wouldn’t normally have in your diet. This tends to piss a lot of people off because they see you eating a bowl of ice cream, yet just watching you the person feels as if they just gained five pounds.
Reason # 7: Where’s the Beef?
Taking in enough protein throughout the day from whole food sources can be tiresome. Sure, you have a lot of variety—beef, chicken, turkey, ham, eggs, fish, etc. But, consuming around your body weight in grams of protein can be a daunting task if you are a busy man. For that reason, many decide to utilize protein shakes to make the task a little easier to swallow (pun intended). To build muscle and preserve muscle, your body needs protein. So, while your brain might be telling you to skip the beef and grab something unhealthy and sweet, you need to stick to the script and grab that very important macronutrient instead.
Reason # 8: Soreness
Listen, don’t give me the whole “being sore after a workout is a great feeling.” No, you’re only lying to yourself. When you can barely get on and off of the toilet to go number two, that’s not fun. And stairs after leg day… screw it, I don’t need to go upstairs to sleep, the couch will do just fine. You walk around all day like you’ve been riding a horse all week long and people stare at you like you’re the unicorn from Rainbow Bright (don’t ask how I know that). No one else understands what you’re going through other than people who actually care about their health and who exercise regularly (hitting them gym on the weekends only does not qualify you for this category). In order to make your way into this category, you better be crushing it in the gym several times a week—and crushing it doesn’t involve googling over the eye-candy walking around in their yoga pants for an hour and then going home to take a cold shower.
Reason # 9: Darn Thing Called LIFE
You know that thing you have outside of work? It’s called a life. Or, maybe you don’t have one and are just a boring person? Maybe after work you’d rather spend your night hanging with the guys at the bar, tossing down a few (and when I say a few I mean 10 or more) beers? Instead, you remember it’s chest day. Sorry bros, catch ya another day, I gotta go get my swole on. Sure, exercise is good for you and it should be a lifestyle, but it’s also something you need to prioritize and make part of your daily schedule if you want to maintain it. Some people fall off the wagon and blow up like a balloon. Not you. You’re regimented and exercise daily. You make sure to fit it in your schedule. So, while everyone else at night is watching the Bachelorette, you’re tossing around some iron at the gym. You over-achiever, you.
Reason # 10: Take Out a Loan for Groceries
Eating clean isn’t cheap. When you’re taking in high amounts of protein you’re spending a pretty penny. Processed foods are so much cheaper than eating healthy, and that’s part of the reason why people choose unhealthy food choices and we have an obesity crisis on our hands in the United States. We pay more for organic foods. We pay more for fresh lean protein sources. The only thing we seem to save money on is water when we compare it to all the sugary drinks available today. Otherwise, you’re dropping some serious cash on a weekly basis just to meet your caloric and macronutrient needs. Food isn’t cheap, so be prepared to watch your wallet get slimmer as your grocery card keeps filling up.
Reason # 11: Jealousy
Whether you are married or are dating, being fit can create some tension between you and your significant other. When you are fit, it’s natural for the opposite sex to pay more attention to you and find you attractive. It comes down to how you act and manage those situations and if you can do so in a manner that is respectful to your significant other. There’s a good chance jealousy is going to get you in trouble at some point, it’s only a matter of time. And, most of the time, it has nothing to do with anything you did or didn’t do. Simply being in the situation (guilty by association) is going to cause conflict. When your significant other finds other women looking at you, it may bring out some insecurities. Jealousy can cause quite a bit of conflict and could break up a relationship. Be prepared to handle the conflict and defuse the situation before it blows up in your face.
Now get to the gym and pack on some more muscle!
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